Happy New Years!

So the end of another year is upon us and I cannot welcome it more!  This year felt like it took forever to get through even though it was a fantastic year!


Derek and I started this year living in Oklahoma to complete the last of his training for work and we couldn't leave there soon enough!  It was an interesting change of scenery and pace but living in a single bedroom apartment that gets rented out as a hotel was just not for us.  Upon that little "vacation" we had decided that we would take our very first vacation as the two of us to a destination without any family.  In March we ended up in North Carolina and fell in love with it there!  Even through rainy weather we had an amazing trip and cannot wait to get back another time.

Emerald Isle, NC

It is kind of funny how some parts of the year are just a blur and others you can remember so vividly.  The middle of the year is that blurry area for me.  For the life of me I cannot remember what we did from about March to just after my birthday in July!  I'm sure that we ended up in Missouri for something and back in Minnesota for something else.  At the end of August though we ended up on a quick weekend trip to Minnesota for the most awesome state fair of all state fairs... the Great Minnesota Get-together!  We ended up seeing Weezer at the Grandstand with my sister and had a blast!

Up Close and Personal

Halloween was a little different this year as we moved into a smaller apartment in order to save some money as well as get a dog which we had been talking about for about two years now.  My folks ended up coming down for Thanksgiving again this year which was packed with absolutely delicious food and a tons of fun.  I took a week long vacation with just my folks to Branson, MO and had a marvelous time!  We got a puppy!

The Bentman!

Then came December and Derek and I celebrated our four year anniversary!  I am so lucky to have spent the last four years with such an amazing guy and I cannot wait to see what the next year brings for us!  We took another trip up to Minnesota to see Derek's dad and step-mom and my family.  Derek and I got to babysit my nephew and had the most fun doing so!  And Christmas was delayed by the flu (we still haven't celebrated because we haven't bought gifts for one another yet)!  And on this New Year's night we are watching Cedar Rapids which is perfect for me!

Noah and Derek playing.  Yes, Mr. Noah is sitting in his wagon of toys and sharing his plastic cheese with his Uncle Derek to whom he refers to as Der or Dare and absolutely adores.

Happy New Year's!

Feeling helpless for the one you love

So I am not a person that believes in the flu shot.  The last time I most likely had one was when I was a child and I have only had the flu a total of maybe 3 or 4 times, even when taking care of others with the flu.  People have lectured me before about not getting a flu shot but in all honestly it is my choice that I have actually discussed with my doctor.  It is one of those things that some people never get the shot and never get the flu.  Sometimes people get the shot and never get the flu.  And even then there are those who get the shot and still get the flu because it does not protect from all types of the flu virus.


I am one that doesn't get the shot and vary rarely gets the flu.  In fact,  I had been telling Derek that he was really lucky he had never experienced me with the flu in our four years together.  That is until about ten minutes after we walked in the door from an eight hour drive back to Illinois on Tuesday.  Yep, for the first time in about six or seven years I got the flu and it was horrible!


Derek felt absolutely helpless in trying to care for me as I'm one of those really lucky ones that gets REALLY sick when they do get sick.  Yesterday, I felt so bad for being sick and having to have Derek take care of me I surprised him and put up more of our Christmas decorations before he came home from work while still feeling crummy.  Two days later now and even though I am still dizzy it is now my turn in feeling helpless in attempting to make the one you love feel better.


I was hoping that Derek would not get sick since he did in fact get a flu shot, but of course he did early this morning.  We are really hoping that he gets over it really quickly since if he did have to call in sick again it would pretty much bum somebody else and their family out that they had to cover at work.


Being sick at Christmas is actually something Derek and I are very used to.  Both of us remember being sick every single year with either a cold or the flu.  In fact Derek has had the flu all but one Christmas together.  Neither of us are stressed about anything this year and cannot blame being sick because of stress.


Our Christmas celebration with a pot roast dinner is most likely going to be delayed.  Which is okay with me since neither of us have gone shopping for each other yet (we keep going back and forth on getting gifts and not getting gifts).  And for family that has not received your Christmas cards yet I apologize but I promise they are written and have addresses on the envelopes, and well the stamps are purchased!  Maybe they will be New Year's cards this year!


If I don't get to blogging in the next couple of days I wish everybody a very Merry Christmas!  May you be healthy, happy, and spend time with (or talk to) the ones you love!  Oh yeah and make a snow angel for me too please!!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

This past weekend I headed north to celebrate Christmas with my dad's side of the family and Derek headed south to celebrate his sister graduating college.  It was one of those times where you wish you could be in two places at one time but are not able to do so.


Christmas was fabulous!  Almost everybody was able to make it to my folks place for the early dinner.  Those who were not able to make it were definitely missed though.  Since moving away I don't get to see relatives as often as I would like to but I take what I can get.  I could not believe how big some of my little cousins are getting, absolutely crazy how fast little ones grow up in front of your eyes.


Speaking of how fast little ones grow, my nephew is going to be two years old shortly and I am just amazed at him every time that I get to see him.  He is so smart and so stinking handsome!  He has been expanding his vocabulary to include Aunties names.  My sister is now Auntie JJ and he decided that I am Auntie Mimi.  No idea where he came up with that but I thought it was adorable and just love him so much I don't care what he calls me as long as he recognizes me as his Aunt!


In preparation for Christmas my brother graciously borrowed his Christmas tree to me and Derek since it was not getting used at home.  We are so thankful that he did because we put it up last night after buying decorations for it and love how it turned out!  Now we just have to finish putting up decorations around the house to make it really feel like Christmas is coming in just 10 days!

"our" tree!

I know it was short but I am finishing up classes today and tomorrow for this semester!

Four Wonderful Years!

Four years ago Derek and I went out on our first date!  Derek was late getting to my place and refused to get directions from me ahead of time.  Well, we had just had a mini blizzard and the roads were still pretty snowy.  My folks place is kind of confusing to get to when getting directions from google maps because of street signs and street names changing.  He ended up driving past my house about 4 times going around the circle.


After meeting my parents, we had headed out to dinner and then off to a movie.  I honestly don't remember what the first movie we chose to go see was because he decided he wanted to see Fred Claus.  He had this whole story of how Vince Vaughn was his Uncle.  So he wanted to see his Uncle Vince in his latest movie.  I didn't buy any of it but just went with it because we were both nervous and I like Christmas movies.  Fred Claus was not good by any means, but we still enjoyed it.  After the movie we just ended up driving around for a bit because we didn't want to say goodnight.


The rest is history you could say!  I am very blessed to have him in my life.  Happy Anniversary my Derek!

My absolute favorite photo of the two of us!  We were dating about 6 months here.

December at last.

Free Coloring Pages found here.

I love December!  December just holds so many good things all in one month.

And in no particular order:


Hallmark Christmas Movies *I admit that I love these totally cheesy and extremely predictable feel good movies.


Anniversary with Derek *More about that tomorrow!


Christmas Music *I could probably listen to it all year long and not get tired of it. No joke!


Christmas Decorations *While I have very few decorations I love going to the stores and imagine what my place would look like if I had endless amounts of money to purchase decorations.  This year I may have to just make some out of paper.


Snow *I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE.... Snow!  It takes perfect conditions for snow to be created.  Each snowflake is completely different from the next.  This actually may be a blog topic for this month in order to continue.


The Holiday Spirit *I know that people get stressed this time of year over their shopping but back home people light up with joy and thanks closer to Christmas.


Family *Family has always been my number one priority.  I love spending the holidays with family.  Plus my sister and nephew have December birthdays.


Cookie Bake Day *I have missed doing this the last few years with moving away and have missed it dearly.  My mom hosts an annual cookie bake day and invites all of the female relatives.  It is so much fun to get together for one day and just bake.  At the end of the day everybody gets to take home a ton of cookies and the porch table turns into cookie heaven!


Winter Hats, Scarves, and Gloves *I know this one is a bit silly but I love my hats, scarves, and finger-less gloves.


Santa *I love seeing the joy on a little ones face when they see Santa at the mall.


Mail *I rarely get mail, unless it is a bill that I do not even want to open.  So when Christmas cards start rolling in, I get so excited to the point of dancing.  It is so amazing to see photos and read the stories of what people have been up to for the last year.


Midnight Church Service *I am one of those church goers that goes about twice a year.  The midnight service is one of my favorite parts about Christmas.  Seeing the majority of attendees all gussied up in their best holiday outfits with smiles on their faces.  The absolute favorite part of the service though is at the end.  All of the lights get turned off, everybody lights their candle and sing Silent Night.  It is almost magical.


Christmas *I don't think that this one needs to be explained.


New Years Eve *Because it is the end of a wonderful (or horrible) year and it means you get to start fresh in the morning.  It is the end and the beginning.  All of the opportunities and things that you didn't accomplish this year, you have another chance.


I could keep going on and on but I have a puppy who needs to eat and so do I.  What is your favorite thing about December?


Here is to a magical month!


M

DIY Shoes!

So, I'm a crafter.  I love crafts.  I always have loved crafts.  And I always will love crafts!  Well, for a while now I have seen these amazing gold glitter heels pretty much showing up EVERYWHERE, and I wanted some but didn't want to pay the enormous price for them.  My solution was to take some overly worn dress shoes that are still comfortable and make them into gold sparkly heels.


My black heels that I have had for YEARS from WalMart I think (I don't even remember where I got them that is how long I have had them!)

I was actually thinking of tossing these I have worn them so much!

After some mod podge and glitter they turned into brand new shoes (still a little wet and should have probably let them fully dry before setting them on my countertop but oh well)!  They photograph a lot darker than they actually are in person.

And now I just need somewhere to wear them!

We Own a BENTLEY!!!!

We really do own a Bentley... just of the dog sort.  Derek and I decided for Christmas we were going to get a puppy... even if it was a really early Christmas present to the both of us.  Well, Friday afternoon I had gotten the call from the No Kill Shelter that Bentley was still available if Derek and I were still interested in adopting him.  Uh DUH!  Of course we were interested in adopting Bentley!


Since I was out shopping at the time of the call I immediately went into the "holy cow we are getting a dog tonight and have absolutely NOTHING for a dog!" mode and ended up forgetting half the stuff I originally went to the store to get in the first place.  As for Bentley we had pretty much everything we needed to pick him up that night.

Bentley at the shelter.

After we picked him up we showed him around our apartment on the leash which is what was recommended after we took him on a short walk.  So we let him off the leash and Bentley started running full speed in circles about twenty times.  He was also jumping up on the furniture and over the furniture, yep OVER the furniture.


You see Bentley is a Jackabee, part Beagle and part Jack Russell Terrier.  Those who don't know Jack Russell Terriers can pretty much jump higher than any dog, and five times their own height.  This means he gets to stay on a leash even in a fenced yard unless it has a really tall fence.  The beagle in him means he is a hound and loves to dig, chase things, and follow scents which ultimately means we need to learn how to get him to walk on walks and not pull on his leash.

His red toy that has been taken away because it is too dangerous!

Bentley had his first vet appointment today for his puppy check up which is standard for all dogs that are adopted from shelters.  He did pretty well with the exception of trying to bite the vet tech and Derek while getting his nails clipped.  We have a healthy 10 month old puppy who is getting better at listening to us (or I should say Derek) everyday.

Bentley was mesmerized by the clock on the wall.

Happy belated Veteran's Day!

(this post is coming from the back of my dads car as we are headed back to IL. I am typing on my phone so I apologize for any spelling errors.)

Growing up I wanted to be a fighter pilot in the Air Force. I wanted to go to war and kill all the bad people. This is no joke that is what I really wanted to do. I love planes and I am so appreciative of those serving in the military. My mom blamed my dad for always watching Top Gun for me wanting to be a fighter pilot. Unfortunately, me being a fighter pilot in the AF was not in my cards. My back diagnosis disqualified me from joining the military.

This past week I spent on vacation with my folks in Branson, MO. We have been vacationing here for almost 20 years and it is almost a second home for us. My folks have gone during veteran's week before so they knew what was going on and when.

The cool thing about Branson is that the whole city shows appreciation for veteran's... All year round, the way it should be. Almost every single show will take time to honor veteran's by the war/peace time they served or as a whole. It is so amazing to see men and women standing from WWII, the Korean War, Vietnam, Iraqi Freedom, and Peace time soldiers. Some shows will also have a moment of silence for those who never made it home. Something new that I had experienced was during Tony Orlando's show. He had the family members and loved ones of those who are currently serving stand to honor them.

Both of my grandfathers, all of my biological uncles, and my dad, and Derek have all served their country. I also have other relatives who have served, Derek's dad, his sister, and many friends serving. Growing up vacationing in Branson I got to see my dad stand during these moments. I cannot even explain how proud I am to be the daughter, niece, granddaughter, etc. of soldiers that fought for my freedom.

We were walking through a grocery store and a woman thanked my dad for his service. He had told my mom and me that he didn't know how to react or what to say. My dad served during a Peace time at the end of Vietnam. And Derek who served four months of his four years in Iraq has told me it is weird when people thank him for his service. They says it is weird because of the position they held in the military. My dad did communications and Derek was an air traffic controller. Neither of them saw combat.

For me as somebody who was unable to serve my country it doesn't matter if you were special forces or cleaned toilets. They made the decision to put their life on hold for a better purpose, freedom. They didn't have to join the military but chose to. They knew that if they saw combat there was a possibility that they would give the ultimate sacrifice. For these reasons and so many more I am forever grateful to all who have served, are currently serving, or are going to be serving.

So to all of the Veteran's who have served, those currently serving, those who haven't started basic yet, and all of their families who support them... Thank you!

Chili for the boys and moving.

Derek and I have been SUPER busy this week packing our apartment for the move tomorrow.  We are for the most part all set to move.  Unfortunately, some of the stuff will be absolutely last minute because we ran out of boxes.  We did manage to get all of this...

Half of our stuff.

into our storage closet.  Then we made it look pretty much the same with the rest of our things.  We are really excited for our new place especially since we going to be able to have a dog (more on that when it happens)!

Well since my folks are not helping us move for the third time, some of Derek's coworkers are amazing enough to come help us out.  Thank you guys!!!  Well you have to feed guys if they help you with something so instead of the typical pizza I made chili!  

Some of the ingredients.  Garlic, lots of peppers, and cilantro.

I recommend checking to see if you have any cuts on your fingers before you start cutting peppers!  I did not and had one.  Well and the fact that I used hotter peppers this time per Derek's request.  As I am typing my left finger tips are BURNING from cutting the peppers.  Next time I am totally investing in some latex gloves and not making that mistake again.  OUCH!

The chili is ready for the guys!

Derek tried it and said it was spicy and delicious!  So I'm hoping the guys tomorrow will enjoy it.  I also decided since it will be Halloween to make a quick (and I mean really quick) cake for dessert.

By no means is it level!  (I was kind of in a hurry)

I did quick little rosettes on the top and nothing fancy for the bottom.  Again I was kind of in a hurry.

For the top I decided sprinkles.  People who really know me know that I pretty much NEVER use sprinkles on a cake because for me it lacks creativity.  And the fact that it took me close to 20 minutes to find the Halloween sprinkles in WalMart (I hate that place) is another reason I don't like to use sprinkles.  Well I found these little orange and green jimmies with black spiders that I thought would look perfect with contrasting the orange frosting.

Edible Spiders!

I guess it turned out alright for me taking only about 20 minutes to do the decorating.  Derek and I have wanted to cut into it SO bad but felt it was only right to wait for the guys that are helping us.  And since we are in the weight loss challenge it will only be small sliver pieces for us and then an hour or two at the gym to burn it off.  TOTALLY worth it though!

On other notes tomorrow is Halloween!  I'm sad that this will be the very first year ever that I will not be carving a pumpkin.  I also can't believe it has been 20 years since the blizzard of '91!  I remember that week well as we were having a birthday party for my brother but had to cancel it.  I wore my mom's prom dress and was a princess for the one and only year I wanted to be a princess.  My brother and I went trick-or-treating pretty much without costumes and just our winter gear.  We were also some of the only kids out because our parents rock!  Tons of candy that year!!!

So with that... Happy Anniversary (tomorrow) Grandma & Grandpa!  Happy Anniversary of your first date (tomorrow) Mom and Dad!  Happy birthday big brother (Monday) hope you got my card!

To everybody else... Happy Halloween!  Be safe and eat a Kit Kat/Smarties/3 Musketeers for me since I can't!

Back to packing since we have to head over to get our new keys in a few!

Free Personal Trainer Session

Last Monday Derek and I joined Gold's Gym.  Much to my apprehension of joining the gym that I had always thought was just for muscle-heads.  I was SO wrong and I so far love that we joined Gold's.  As a part of joining Gold's they offer you a free personal training session as a way to try selling you sessions obviously.  Who wouldn't take a free session with a trainer?!  When setting up my free session the training manager asked me, "Why now?  Why do you want to get into the gym now?"  Uh Hello!  Why not?!  I like living for one!  And I would like to do everything I can to protect myself from getting anything that can shorten my life.

This is too funny and so true!  I also love Google Search and the things you can find.

This morning was my free session and I went in really excited and with little apprehension since I talked to the trainer on the phone yesterday to confirm the appointment.  I think for anybody seeing a trainer for the first time can be a bit intimidating especially since Biggest Loser has been on NBC for twelve seasons now.  For those who are thinking about getting a trainer just know that each trainer trains in their own way. The Gold's Trainer manager assured me that they would find the right trainer for me and if I didn't connect with one we could try another until there is a good match.  Well, he did great for finding me a trainer!


My trainer is around the same age as me and is also a student which makes it easy to relate to her.  She knows about my back surgery and has assured me that she will be able to work around that for workouts. As with most trainers she had me start out with some cardio just to get my heart rate going before we get to the workout.  The first thing I did was with a kettlebell and I must say I might fall in love with kettlebell workouts, it was just fun and challenging.  She did a nice mixture switching between weights and cardio to keep my heart rate up throughout the workout.  This is something I have never experienced in workouts before but I welcomed the change.  I could definitely tell the my body isn't used to the type of workout she had me do as I had some difficulty and ended up getting light headed.  To be honest I had to cut it short by one final exercise because my leg muscles were spasming so much I could barely stand.  That was new.

Derek was working out with a coworker and watching me while I was with my trainer just to see how I was doing.  He told me that initially he thought that she was going really easy on me and then he saw the sweat going down my face!  Working out is not pretty!  In fact I learned that lifting gloves might be beneficial from possibly dropping weights out of your sweaty hands!  Anyway, she definitely did not go easy on me but I'm glad that she didn't.  I have a challenging workout set for this week before I see her again on Monday for a follow up!

The Kettlebell!

  That is all I have for today!

Thinking of a future home

Ever tired of packing?  I am!  Derek and I are packing for a third time as we are preparing to move just down the street to a smaller apartment.  I just got the call today from the landlord that she received our deposit and will be all set to move in at the end of the month after they shampoo the carpets and make everything all pretty for us.

Yes, moving again but we will be saving money.  It was a mutual decision as right now we see all our money going towards rent and utilities and have little to spare.  I was surprised that by moving to the new place will save us just over $3,500 a year in rent, holy cow!  It will totally help us in saving for an eventual wedding, dog, and a house once we can move back to MN!

So as I'm in my first week of school and trying to pack and trying to have the motivation to get my butt to the gym I have been a bit stressed this week.  And I'm talking stressed to the point where you have no appetite whatsoever!  Today I took it easy by doing some homework in the morning, skipped the gym, and packed three more boxes all while watching an apparent marathon of "My First Home".  Of course that has got me thinking of when Derek and I buy our first house.

I have been lucky enough to grow up around construction and design.  Since I grew up in a very much Do It Yourself family I feel blessed that I know how to do a lot of things around the house and how to fix basic things as well.  This has also given me an upper hand as to what I will look for in a home for me and Derek.  What we do want and what we don't want is going to be interesting as we have kind of different taste, but I feel that he will lean more than I will due to my stubborn German-Swede-mutt mix that I am.  Plus I'm not so sure that he cares all that much as long as the furniture is comfortable and that there is a game room/man cave for him.  And he is pretty much awesome and just wants me to be happy!

Some of the things I am looking forward to in a house with Derek:

PAINTING!  I absolutely hate the bland boring beige that apartments are painted.  It lacks life and is generally a pukey looking color.

Buying new and getting rid of the old!  I am very appreciative of the second hand stuff that we have received in furnishing our apartment; however, it really isn't our style.  Something I have ALWAYS wanted is to have RED couches in my living room.  Yes, red!  Maybe something like these...

Lighting!  No more brass fixtures that are standard and hideous!  I love the really pretty, light, flowy look of these...

Something that Derek and I have actually agreed upon is that in our home we would love to have a built in breakfast nook.  I can just imagine me making breakfast, lunch, or dinner and our kids doing homework at the nook.  These are some ideas...

Haha notice the light!

I absolutely LOVE that this nook is round and offers more seating!

I am kind of digging having a couch as seating in a dining room.  It offers a lot of play with pillows.

Hardwood floors are of course a must for the kitchen and dining area!  My first choice is this...

Hickory floors!  My Aunt Connie has them and I fell in LOVE with the rustic beauty and variety in color.

Something my dad introduced our family to were wood panels for all the appliances.  And I absolutely cannot stand to look at appliances.  So panels are a must!

Cabinet or Dishwasher?!  I LOVE wood panels!

I'm not a big fan of granite (I know the jaws are dropping and saying, "How on earth can you not like GRANITE?!") but Corian and marble I do love.  I'm not sure if marble should go in the kitchen or the bathroom.  But how cool would a bathroom look for a spa like atmosphere with marble as the walls or floors or counters?!

I love the little hint of color and the luxuriousness of marble.

One thing I can't stand about apartment bathrooms are the tub/shower combo and I'm not a fan of shower curtains.  So one thing I really look forward to in a house is an enclosed stand up shower!  Maybe at first it won't look like the photo below but still enclosed...

It is only missing a bench!

Something else Derek and I have agreed upon is that we want a nice big yard.  Eventually, we would love to live on a lakeshore property.  My biggest thing is that TREES are a must!

Because trees are beautiful!

I could honestly go on for hours about a future house!  It is a journey that I cannot wait to make with Derek.

Goodbye Facebook (well at least for now)

Ever feel disconnected from the world around you?  Even with all of the technology in our generation.  I have lived away from my family for close to 2-1/2 years now.  In the last few months I have felt that the longer I am away from my family, the less I feel that I am a part of my family.  Now, I am partially to blame because I probably don’t call as much as I should but I do try to visit every few months.

I am connected to the majority of my family and parts of Derek’s family through Facebook.  And as much as Derek hates Facebook I have started to agree with him.  It is though people rely on Facebook as their primary information source.  Yes, it is a nice place to connect with long lost friends, old neighbors, and out-of-state family; however, I miss connecting with people on a personal level.

While the advancements in technology have made life easier in some aspects, I think it has also made people cold.  People have become incredibly impatient when they don’t have an answer right away.  People are a lot less inclined to have a conversation with somebody because they can text them or message them on Facebook (I have fallen to love the ease and speed of texting especially when my mom has trouble hearing at times).  People no longer use “snail” mail and have almost stopped using e-mails.  I mean come on who doesn’t love getting something in the mail that is not a bill!

I have had a reoccurring dream that sadly includes Facebook.  In this dream while I am searching Facebook I discover that a family member had died and it was announced on Facebook instead of by phone.  And instead of being sad I get livid as to not being personally notified and find myself unable to forgive this act.  I also have a similar dream of getting engaged to Derek and having others spoil the announcement before I have been able to call family members.  And then I get livid again and literally go crazy and tell people that if they spoil anything they would not be invited and make my bridal party sign a No Facebook Agreement for anything and all things wedding related.

So for the last few months I have been thinking of avoiding Facebook and deleting it from my phone as a challenge to become more connected with people personally.  I have decided that it is time to do this challenge and I challenge others to do this too!

Beginning Monday October 10, I will no longer be logging onto Facebook (I’m hoping to do this until the end of the year)!  For those of you who read my blog through Facebook, I am able to post my blog on Facebook from Blogger.  If you comment on my blog please do so through the Blogger website (NOT Facebook) as I will not be reading anything that is posted on Facebook.  You do not need to be a member of Blogger to comment on my writings as you can comment anonymously but just sign your name so I know who is saying what.  For any reason you need to get a hold of me please call, e-mail, or even text me and I’d love snail mail too!  And if you do not have my information just let me know!  

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Two posts in one night, oh my!

Some people are aware that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and for me it is nothing to joke about.  I first learned about breast cancer when I was in elementary school and my Aunt who I refer to as Grandma (long story) was diagnosed with if I remember correctly Stage III.  She is now a 12+ year survivor!  I also have another Aunt who is a now 2 year survivor!  (I think its two and feel bad that I'm not sure).

Growing up I never considered the risk of ever getting breast cancer.  I have had a cousin who has had a scare and my mom has had a scare.  It wasn't until my moms scare that I learned more about breast cancer or even self-checks.  The doctor had given her cards to hang in the shower of how to do a proper self exam.

I never really paid much attention until one day it clicked that, "Hey this could potentially save my life".  Since that day I performed self exams and had found a lump right around the time of my 20th birthday.  Yes, that is right my 20th birthday.

Mom, me, Jamie, and Melissa (my sisters friend) crewing 2009. 

At first I kind of ignored it because it would come and go and wasn't painful at all.  I kept it to myself as my family had enough stress knowing that I was going to be having major back reconstructive surgery.  It wasn't until the lump became painful that I thought anything of it which was about a year after I first discovered it.  I spent most nights researching anything and everything I could online trying to calm my nerves.  And on most nights I would cry myself to sleep in fear that something was in fact wrong.

I image that finding a lump at any age is scary.  After I had my back surgery I decided to tell my parents; and, I can't imagine the fear my parents encountered once I had told them I had found a lump.  My brother, sister, and I have put our parents through a lot in our years and I felt bad adding more to the list even though I knew how they would react.

Once I scheduled my initial exam with my doctor I was referred to get an ultra sound.  For younger women who are scared to get a mammogram just know what I learn.  I learned that the younger a woman the more dense the tissue and ultrasounds are a preferred method as a mammogram doesn't pick up some things with the dense tissue.  Let me tell you this an ultrasound is SO cool!  I've had a couple for random things and love the technology and being able to see the blood flow through your veins.

Back to the story!  The ultrasound had revealed that I of course had a lump.  It also showed a second lump that was playing hide and go seek behind the larger lump.  So off to the specialist I went.  The specialist gave me a few options for treatment as he was fairly certain it was not cancerous.  His suggestions: leave it alone and just monitor it, conduct a needle biopsy, or have a lumpectomy to remove the lumps.  I opted for the double lumpectomy as I did NOT want them in me at all!  What is funny is that he was worried that I didn't know there would a scar.  After my back surgery leaving a 12" scar and two smaller scars, the least of my worries was going to be a 1" scar.  He kept asking, "Are you sure?  There will be a scar."  I feel bad of how I reacted in saying, "Get the damn things out of me!" but he thought it was humorous which was good.

Just shortly after my 22nd birthday I went in for my 2nd surgery of that year to get a double lumpectomy.  It was an outpatient surgery so I got to leave about an hour after surgery and just await the results of the biopsies.  Turns out both were benign but the diagnosis of one could have eventually turned cancerous but there was no way of knowing if it would have.  Yes, I have a scar that sometimes gives a little pain to remind me of where I have come from but I would have the same procedure again if I had to.

I will leave you with this: Age has nothing to do with breast cancer.  Check yourself, not yearly but every few months to really know your body.  Early detection really is the key to saving your life, I sure as heck wasn't going to wait around to see if my lumps turned cancerous or not.

Me, my Mom, and my sister Jamie after crewing our first Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day event in 2008.  1 year after my scare.

Walk to end Alzheimer's

This morning after waking up with a migraine I headed down to the Riverfront to walk a 5k in my efforts of finding a cure for Alzheimer's.  Now mind you I NEVER go anywhere by myself especially to a city but none the less I'm trying to expand my horizons a little bit.

Sign at the beginning of the walk.

I wasn't sure what to expect as I have normally participated in Breast Cancer Events but I thought that there was a pretty good turn out for the event.  Not sure of what to expect I headed down early just in case I wasn't sure of where to go.  Note to self for next time: Remember to bring headphones!  Being by myself for over an hour before the actual opening ceremony began I was a bit bored.

Ready to get started.

I was surprised at how many kids were participating.  Then again most people that participated were families.  They handed out garden flowers that we were to write why we participated on the petals or leaves.  Each color represented something different.  Blue was for those who have been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer's.  Yellow was for family members of those currently living with dementia or Alzheimer's.  Orange is you are just there to support the good cause.  Lastly purple was for those who lost somebody that had dementia or Alzheimer's.

 I walked in memory of my Great Aunt Margaret Harmon.

They didn't do much for an opening ceremony but had live music to entertain people while waiting to start the walk.  The walk was nice, no hills which surprised me.  We walked right along the river down to a park and then turned around to go back to the start.   At the end of the walk the volunteer workers "planted" our flowers for us to pick.

I love bridges and this was only about an eighth of the way into the walk.

While I was really bored being by myself and forgetting my headphones, I still had fun and am glad I did this today!  For future walks I will definitely remember my headphones and try to plan better and see if more people want to join me!

Almost done with the 5K and I just thought this made for a cool photo.  I have a thing for taking pictures of the American Flag.

Family weight loss challenge

So, I am a horrible blogger!  Since my last entry I have finished three courses at Capella University and so far I have a 4.0 GPA.  I'm hoping that through the rest of my classes I am able to maintain straight A's and graduate with honors Spring 2013.  The last two weeks I have been enjoying a nice break between classes and have started working on Christmas presents for family.  I have also had more time to work out which has been wonderful!  Now I just need to pick up the pace and get into it more than I am currently.

From my last visit home I decided to create a weight loss challenge with my family.  My mom, brother, sister, Derek, and myself are all participating in weekly challenges created by my mom in order to try eating healthier and getting to the gym on a regular basis.  I think this challenge has been overdue for a while but I am excited that we are actually doing it now.  None of us are badly overweight but we could each lose some weight, tone up, and begin leading a healthier lifestyle.

I feel bad sometimes in thinking of how much I love my family and how frustrating our genes are sometimes.  It is sometimes hard to admit that you come from a line of what is viewed as unhealthy genes.  Now I'm not just talking about obesity but in my family we have nearly everything going on.  There is obesity/morbid obesity, diabetes, cancer of multiple kinds, heart problems, back problems, Arthritis, Alzheimer's and I could go on but I won't.  Don't get be wrong I love each and every single one of my family members unconditionally I'm just not sure why it took me so long to want to take care of myself the way I should have for years.

Years ago I had a falling out with church that I've never talked about and I'm not sure I am ready to.  Recently though I've been trying to get back to being more spiritual and trying to discover what I really believe in.  Well, I purchased a book called, The Confident Woman Devotional 365 Daily Inspirations by Joyce Meyer.  I haven't stayed quite up to date with reading every single day and I don't quite believe in everything that Joyce Meyer believes but I've been trying to keep up with the daily readings.

September 25 the entry is called, Run Your Race.  The reading goes like this:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete,but [only] one receives the prize?  So run [your race] that you may lay hold [of the prize] and make it yours.  Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things.... We [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness] that cannot wither.  -1 Corinthians 9:24-25

Paul said that we are each running a race and that we should run it to win.  Winning requires preparation, training, sacrifice, and a will to press past opposition.  It often requires failing many times but continuing, always keeping on, despite any opposition we may encounter along the way.  Cowards quit, but confidence and courage finish.

When we make decisions that we know inside our heart aren't the conscience.  We may try to ignore the voice of conscience, but it whispers to us that we have not done our best.  So when you are faced with decisions that plague or wear you down, be confident in your ability that you will see success.  Say "It shall be done!"

Are you tempted to give up on something right now?  Don't!  Finishing your race will build your confidence.  You will trust yourself more, and that is important.  Winners don't always take first place, but they must finish the race (Meyer, 2011, p. 268).

This is one time I felt I could really relate my life to a reading from the book.  While life is not a short race, we have to live it to our fullest and face challenges or in my case poor genes and not taking care of myself head on.  I feel that in order for me to win my battle that it will take preparation, training, and sacrifice as Joyce mentions.  Failure is something I have dealt with before and I'm sure that I will fail at some point in the future.  Through my failures I am able to learn what I have done wrong and what I need to improve upon in the future.

Something I would love to be able to do physically is run a 5k and this is something I have said before.  Unfortunately, due to my back surgery and having half of my nerves cut in my torso every single time that I run is painful in the sense it feels all my insides are bouncing around.  I just keep hoping that with developing a better training plan I will one day be able to run a few times a week.

Speaking of 5k's!  I did something completely out of character for myself yesterday, signed up for a 5k walk (this is normal) that I will be doing by myself!  I'm not one to venture out on my own especially when it has to do with the city but Derek has to work and I thought it might be fun to do another 5k walk.  Wish me luck for my venture to the city by myself on Sunday!  I will try to take photos of the event to post as I am not sure of what I should expect.

As far as the weight loss challenge goes so far I am down only about 5lbs but through amping up my work outs and watching what I have been eating I am hoping that my hard work will begin to pay off a little bit more!  I will try to do a monthly update of my successes and challenges I have faced.  And to my mom, brother, sister, and Derek best of luck in the challenge!

My bag!

Okay so since I bought my sewing machine a few months ago I have been sewing as much as possible!  While Derek and I were at the Salvation Army today a lady behind me in line poked my back with a hanger to compliment me on my bag.  Now I didn't do the best job on this bag but I love it because it holds a ton of stuff and I primarily use it for groceries.  Here it is!

Size reference it fits 2-gallon sized cartons of milk and then a whole bunch of other stuff.  It also has four outside pockets.  Next time I'm definitely adding more pockets!

2 years later...

July 2009 Packing day!  We hadn't seen each other in over a month!

          

             I have been thinking a lot about the future lately as well as how much has changed in the last two years.  Derek and I are coming up on being Illinois residents for two years at the end of July.  I love Derek and am forever grateful for the life he has created for us.  He is in his final stages of training for his job before he becomes a fully rated air traffic controller.  That means once he has worked as a fully rated ATC for a while he is eligible to put in for a transfer so we can move again!!!!  We are both extremely excited to leave where we are currently living.  This has got me thinking as to what I want for the next five years…

            Obviously, I want to get married!  I would also like to be able to enjoy the first year of marriage before Derek and I start talking about having kids.  In 2013, which might seem far away from now I will have finally completed my Bachelor’s Degree to which I hope to be able to put to good use.  Derek and I would both like to live a healthier lifestyle, which will be much easier to do once we move elsewhere that has more opportunities for outdoor activities.  The only question that I have is where we should live.

Missing my brother and now nephew!  And pay no attention to the complete awkwardness from my turtle shell!

            I have always envisioned myself living in Minnesota where I can be close to my family.  The thought of keeping close to my family was always important because I wanted my kids to grow up to be close with their cousins, as I did.  The two years in Illinois has been difficult being away from family but it has also taught me that it is possible.  As long as I make a trip home to see family every few months I do pretty well at not being too homesick.  I do feel that I have missed out on some things and miss relatives that I would normally see around the holidays but I have learned to make due with what I have.

North Carolina, 2011

            Derek has always talked about moving somewhere else other than Minnesota and how exciting it might be.  He understands why I want to go to my true home but he has got me into thinking, “What would it be like to start a life away from my true home?”  During our vacation we took to in the beginning of April to North Carolina, Derek told me he wanted to move there if we didn’t move to Minnesota.  We both fell in love with North Carolina itself as the people were very welcoming, the weather was wonderful, it has gorgeous scenery, it has a ton of things to do, and well it was kind of cool being that close to the beach/ocean.  To be honest while we were on vacation in a way it felt like we were home.
            Basically, I think I have a lot of the next five years planned out pretty well and am comfortable with those plans.  The biggest question is, “Do Derek and I take the comfortable route and move back to everything I have always known; or, do we take the risk of living the life unknown?

            After all that I’m curious as to what everybody else thinks!